Magnus Uggla

Lyrics Rembrandt Magnus Uggla

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Rembrandt


Jag såg Kristina idag
gud va hemskt det va.
Usch va gammal hon har blitt.
Tänk att hon som var så ljuvligt vacker
fått så ålderdomligt snitt.

Fast inget konstigt förlopp
hon fått så sliten kropp
och en unken andedräkt
så som hon proppar i sig kokosbollar,
fika, kakor och konfekt.

Se nu går hon som en knubbsäl
med en bakdel som en världsdel
och måste bära gördel och korsett
för att hålla in sitt dallriga fett.

Så jag sa
Ring Doktor Rembrant en expert
på krokiga böjda näsor.
ÅÅÅ låt Doktor Rembrant ta din stjärt
och bygga två kindproteser
med nål, skalpell och broderi blir du
snygg som Stephanie.
ÅÅÅ hos Doktor Rembrant sugs du
smärt han ger dig en ung figur.
Köp dig Doktor Rembrants kur.

När var badstrand blir full
av toppigt tonårs hull
och du själv nått ålderns höst
och du ligger där med dina hängit,
slappa, ledsna taxöron till bröst.

Du tar massage, pedikyr
byter smink och frisyr
men du är fast uti din page,
stora påsar under ögonen, en trippelhaka
och mustasch.

När du fått dom första svallen
och din sudd blitt som blå hallen
och din hjässa fyllts med gråa hår
och du fått gropiga blåmärkta ridbyxlår.

Ring Doktor Rembrant för en titt
han gör så att skinnet smiter.
ÅÅÅ låt Doktor Rembrant skapa fritt
bland bristningar celluiter.
Fyll från hjässan ner till tån med spackel
kit silikon.
ÅÅÅ när Doktor Rembrant skär ett snitt
får du en ung figur.
Köp dig Doktor Rembrant kur.

Tänk om en vässla skulle få det.
Å Susset, Barbro, Grete.
Kerstin, Björn, Axén och Megg.
Ett framstjärtsformat skägg.

ÅÅÅ Å Doktor Rembrant gör mig fin
som dom uti veckopressen.
ÅÅÅ Å Doktor Rembrant lyft mitt flin
lika stjärnorna och noblessen.
Vad tar du för ett slimmat kön vad
vad kostar ett par schyssta brön.
ÅÅÅ Å Doktor Rembrant Per Hedin
ge mig en ung figur.
Ge mig Doktor Rembrants kur.

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