Nordöstlich von Malmö, mitten in den tiefsten Wäldern
steht ein großes Holzhaus, finanziert von Steuergeldern.
dort wo der Fuchs dem Hasen "God nat" zu sagen pflegt,
traf ich Olaf Johansson, und das hat mich sehr bewegt:
Mit je einem Supermodel links und rechts im Arm
begrüßte er mich freundlich, sein Händedruck war warm.
Er war schon fünfundsiebzig. Überall war'n schöne Frau'n!
ich sagte, ohne ihm direkt ins Auge zu schau'n:
"Alter Schwede!
Du kriegst wirklich jede! Mann, was ist hier los?
Alter Schwede! Wie machst du das bloß?"
Er lächelte und sagte: " Komm mit, ich zeig dir was."
Und mit seinem Hundschlitten gab er richtig Gas.
Wir fuhren bis nach Malmö und er sprach von irgendwelchen
ziemlich alten Bäumen und besonders großen Elchen.
In Malmö suchten wir dann eine hippe Kneipe auf.
Kaum waren wir da drin, war'n alle Frauen heftig drauf:
Sie liefen alle kreischend auf den guten Olaf zu.
Sie stießen mich beiseite und ich stammelte nur: "Du -
Alter Schwede..."
Er sprach: "Es gibt 'nen Grund, dass ich bei Frauen noch
nicht passé bin:
Ich kenn ein Zauberwort,
das funktioniert bei jeder Schwedin.
Du musst es ihnen einfach nur dreimal
ins Öhrchen flüstern,
dann werden alle Frauen, wie soll ich sagen, beinah lüstern!"
"Alter Schwede! du kriegst wirklich jede.
Einfach grandios.
Alter Schwede...
...das macht mir Mut.
Alter Schwede, sag' mal, ist dir nicht gut??"
Unnötig zu berichten, dass ich's nie erfahren hab,
denn sein Zauberwort nahm Olaf Johansson
gleich mit ins Grab.
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