Ero un bravo cittadino senza ubbie
e
badavo solamente a cose mie:
davo il voto a chi sedeva già al potere
per timor d'avere qualche dispiacere;
concordavo
col padrone e la Questura
su un progresso senza l'ombra d'avventura.
La mia pace fu, però, pregiudicata,
per il fatto che mi piace l'insalata.
La condivo con genuino olio d'olivo;
ero ignaro ch'era olio di somaro,
messo insieme a carogne di balene;
l'olio è sterilizzato,
contraffatto e adulterato,
reni, fegato e budella mi schiantò.
Per escludere del tutto dai miei pasti
il pericolo di condimenti guasti,
fui costretto a eliminar dalla cucina
burro, lardo, grasso, strutto e margarina.
Ed a forza di pensare, infine volli
far la prova di mangiare solo polli:
polli lessi, fatti in pentola, alla buona,
con dell'acqua, sale, pepe e qualche aroma.
Ma i pollastri son più grassi se li castri,
e i capponi son castrati con gli ormoni,
che son cose sempre un po' pericolose,
tant'è vero che io, adesso,
sono lì per cambiar sesso
e una femmina tra un po' diventerò.
Abitavo in un moderno appartamento
con struttura "a faccia vista" di cemento,
marmo rosa nel soggiorno e nell'ingresso
e mosaico rosso e verde dentro il cesso;
il mobilio, per mio gusto personale,
era in stile barocchetto e chippendale,
ma convenni, poi, con grossa delusione,
che l'alloggio era di speculazione.
L'impresa, per ridurre un po' la spesa,
ha messo, anziché cemento, gesso;
con cura ha ridotto l'armatura
e così l'appartamento
con struttura di cemento
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