Herr Von Grau

Lyrics Herr doktor Herr Von Grau

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Herr doktor


1) Ich guck in den Spiegel und seh aus wie Frankenstein
Kleine Augen, graue Haut, ich glaub, ich brauch 'nen Krankenschein
Ich huste hart und raus kommt Blut und schwarzes Zeug
Die Nase läuft, ich kotze ab und fühl mich atomar verseucht
Ein Virus erster Liga, meine Glieder brennen
Ich hab in Eis gebadet und gehofft, dass das das Fieber senkt
Doch ich glüh weiter wie ein sterbender Stern
Und merk, wie sich die Viren in den Därmen vermehren
Wenn ich so seh, was ich ins Klo ablass
Denk ich, es ist besser, ich ruf die Ghostbusters
Ich bin sau im Arsch, auf zum Arzt
Die Leute schauen mich an, als wär ich aufbewahrt
Man so 'ne Scheiße, jetzt auch noch auf den Bus warten
Jeder Nerv schmerzt pervers bis in die Brustwarzen
Mir wird schlecht und ich kotze los in hohem Bogen
Die Oma neben mir sagt: "Na ja, die Drogen..."

Refrain
Mein Körper streikt, ich bin verwirrt und bleich
Irgend etwas widerliches hat mir das Gehirn verschleimt
Ich hab's noch nie erlebt, dass einen was so niederschlägt
Ich bin schon ganz unten und hab Schiss, dass es noch tiefer geht
Ich scheiß mich wund und der Geruch ist 'ne Beleidigung
Nichts funktioniert mehr und ich fühl mich dumm wie Heidi Klum
Mein Körper ist verseucht wie das Schwarze Meer
Ich kann nicht mehr, gar nicht mehr, ein Arzt muss her

2) Schon beim Reinkommen ist mir dieser Arzt sehr suspekt
Bei seinem Anblick bleibt mir einfach die Luft weg
"Bitte setzen Sie sich", ja ok, mach ich
Scheiße, dieser Arzt ist mindestens 80
Er hat blutunterlaufende Augen
Und wirkt so als sollte man ihn draußen entstauben
Dieser Mensch ist längst überholt wie die D-Mark
Er grinst und fragt mich, was ich für ein Problem hab
Sagen Sie, Herr Doktor, kommt das oft vor
Dass die Kaka im Dunkeln leuchtet wie Phosphor?
"Hm, kann schon sein, dass man so 'n Kram kackt
Die Schwester guckt jetzt mal in ihren Darmtrakt"
Die Schwester kommt und packt mich mit Kraft am Arm
Sie sieht nett aus, so als würde sie sonst Laster fahren
Sie fragt gar nicht nach, ob ich Angst hab
Und rammt mir verdammt hart den Schlauch in den Arsch bis zum Anschlag

Refrain
Mein Körper streikt, ich bin verwirrt und bleich
Irgend etwas widerliches hat mir das Gehirn verschleimt
Ich hab's noch nie erlebt, dass einen was so niederschlägt
Ich bin schon ganz unten und hab Schiss, dass es noch tiefer geht
Ich scheiß mich wund und der Geruch ist 'ne Beleidigung
Nichts funktioniert mehr und ich fühl mich dumm wie Heidi Klum
Mein Körper ist verseucht wie das Schwarze Meer
Ich kann nicht mehr, gar nicht mehr, ein Arzt muss her

3) Eklig, wie ich diesen Schlauch tief im Bauch spür
Mein Arsch ist offen wie Kanadas Haustüren
Bitte, Schwester, müssen Sie wirklich so tief da rein?
Wenn Sie steckenbleiben würde ich Ihnen das nie verzeihen
Sie wühlt weiter, zärtlich wie 'n Fleischer
Ist voll dabei, lässt sich nicht stören in ihrem Eifer
Ich glaube, dass ich hier inzwischen schon 'ne Stunde lieg
Langsam macht das Praxisteam sich bei mir unbeliebt
Plötzlich merke ich bei Arzt und Schwester Unbehagen
Ich bin mir sicher, dass die was gefunden haben
Ich halt das nicht mehr aus, klärt mich auf
Los, sagt was, lasst es einfach ehrlich raus
Sie verschwinden jetzt sofort aus meinem Poschlitz
Ich bin doch kein Idiot, ich will jetzt wissen, was hier los ist
"Ich kenn es von Bildern, live gesehen hab ich's nie
Tut mir leid, Sie haben Rapallergie"

Nein! Und was mach ich jetzt?
"Eine Partie Tischtennis hat bis jetzt jedem geholfen"

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