Si j'étais tout-puissant demain
Je n'irais pas par quat' chemins,
Et ferais passer par le fer
Tous les voisins de l'univers.
Dans un moment, quand vous saurez
Tout ce qu'ils me font endurer,
Vous direz en votre âme : "Il a
Raison d' vouloir être Attila."
{Refrain:}
Les voisins sont tous des sal's types
Les voisins sont tous des sal's gens.
Ces gens auxquels je n'ai rien fait,
Auxquels je montre un tact parfait,
Passent leurs jours, passent leurs nuits
A me susciter des ennuis.
Ils possèdent un Mistigri
Qui croque toutes les souris,
Sauf les miennes bien entendu
Car ils le lui ont défendu.
{Refrain}
Mais en revanche il prend bien soin
De ne pas faire ses besoins
Ailleurs que sur mon paillasson,
Comme on lui en fit la leçon,
Et puis ils vont criant partout
Si je jett' la pierre au matou :
"Il met ça sur le dos du chat,
Mais c'est lui qui se soulagea !"
{Refrain}
Et dans tout le quartier bientôt,
Je passe pour un Hottentot
Qui s'acharne à souiller, souiller
Les paillassons mal surveillés.
Lors quand je vais déambulant,
Chacun me fait l'affront sanglant
De mettre au fur et à mesur'
Tous les paillassons en lieu sûr.
{Refrain}
Ma grand-mère âgée de cent ans
M'adore et vient de temps en temps
Faire un séjour en ma demeure.
Ils trouvent ça contraire aux m?urs,
Ils font entendre à mots couverts
Que je suis un affreux pervers,
Un incestueux garnement
Qui couche avec sa grand-maman.
{Refrain}
Et, comme pour les paillassons,
Tous les crétins à l'unisson,
Afin d'm'empêcher d'les violer
Mettent leurs grand-mères sous clef.
En outre, la société
Protectric' des vieux maltraités
Me combat de tout son pouvoir
Et m'inscrit sur sa liste noir'.
{Refrain}
Ayant un jour lavé mes pieds,
J'attendais la femm' d'un pompier,
Sûr d'abuser d'elle à huis clos.
J'avais compté sans ces salauds.
Comm' dans l' couloir il faisait nuit
Et qu'elle ne trouvait pas mon huis,
Elle alla tirer par erreur
Le cordon de mes dénigreurs.
{Refrain}
Ils lui répondent : "Ce citoyen
Habit' le taudis mitoyen,
Mais quand vous sortirez d' chez lui
Portez donc vos pas à Saint-Louis."
Alors ma visiteuse, à corps
Perdu, partit et court encor',
Et je dus convenir enfin
Qu' j'avais lavé mes pieds en vain.
{Refrain}
L'affair' ne se borna pas là,
De nouveau, tout l' monde en parla,
Et les sapeurs-pompiers d' Paris
Me clouèrent au pilori.
Ils retirèr'nt par précaution
Leurs femm's de la circulation
Et promir'nt d'être sans émoi
Si jamais l' feu prenait chez moi.
{Refrain}
Je passe ainsi pour un garçon
Qui s'oublie sur les paillassons,
Qui viole les vieilles grand-mèr's,
Qui contamine les pompièr's.
Maintenant que vous savez tout,
Vous donnez votre accord sans dou-
Te à mon zèle exterminateur
De cette bande d'emmerdeurs.
Et comme on n'en finirait plus
Permettez qu'ici je conclue
En sonnant encor' le tocsin
Contre l'engeance des voisins.
Georges Brassens (1921-1981) was a French singer-songwriter.
In the realm of rock 'n' roll, there are few names as iconic as Queen, and within the Queen pantheon, Brian May stands out not only as a legendary guitarist but also as an astrophysicist with a profound connection to NASA.
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Brigitte
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Atrophy
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