Every morning in the kitchen, you can see him scurry
With those six fat legs, he could move in a hurry
Living on garbage, hiding in the wall
Breathing sprays and poisons and surviving at all
Lemme tell you about a roach
Big cockroach
With a female roach, his only thoughts to seduce her
He's an insect Cassanova, a prolific producer
He's got a shiny back that is harder than granite
Huh, he's just about indestructible... Dammit!
He's a roach
Big cockroach
He was standing at the corner of Under and Sink
All mean and unshaven, he was looking for a drink
He had a dent in his neck from a month ago
When the maid caught him napping and stomped him on the flo'
Once I threw a party, he showed up real drunk
Leaned across my wet bar and called me a punk
Well, I took his remark rather tongue and cheekBut, just to be safe I made his next drink weak
He was mean
Big cockroack
After everybody left, we sat down on the rug
We were talking it out, kind'a... Kind'a of man to bug
He said "This country was built on persistance like mine
I'll survive. Just relax. Everything will be fine."
Big roach
Big cockroach
Now, we get along fine, at least so far
In fact, my only complaint is that he borrows my car
"You can't fight evolution. Not and win." he swears
Seems my only solution was to keep him downstairs
Well, I didn't want him in my room. Listen, I slept in a room with roaches before
But... I never had one hop in bed and throw one leg over me
When they start to cuddle, that's when I draw the line
Well, it's been a while since that went down
He moved out. People said he left town
Then... via the vine, I heard he moved to Manilla
They say to marry a chick, by the name of Bugzilla
Big roach
Big cockroach
A year went by and I got a visit from his son
He was bigger than a Buick, he weighed over a ton
So... Now I live downstairs. Well, what could I do?
The only other choice was to have him move in with you
And he was big
Big cockroach
Francis Kip Addotta was an American stand up comedian. He made several appearances on television during the 1970s including The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, The Mike Douglas Show, Dinah!, American Bandstand, The Midnight Special, Don Kirshner's Rock Concert, and the game shows The Hollywood Squares and Make Me Laugh. Addotta was also featured on the Dr. Demento radio show. He is probably best known for his comedy recording "Wet Dream". Other recordings include "Big Cock Roach" and "Life in the Slaw Lane."
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