Je n’ai pas de passion secrète
Je termine toujours mon assiette
Je traverse sur les passages
Je fais ce qui est de mon âge
Je m’adapte à mon milieu
Je cède ma place aux plus vieux
Je n’élève jamais la voix
On peut toujours compter sur moi
Je ne parle pas aux inconnus
Je ne fume pas bien entendu
Je ne pleure pas sur mon sort
Je ne dis pas du mal des morts
Je respecte la voie publique
Je suis fidèle aux statistiques
Je donne avant de recevoir
Je ne couche pas le premier soir
Je suis ce qu’il faut que je sois
Je suis hétérosexuel
J’appelle mes parents à Noël
Je ne fais pas de grands écarts
Je ne vais pas dormir trop tard
J’économise mon argent
Je ne pleure pas devant les gens
Je freine pour les animaux
Je prends le plus petit morceau
Je soigne mon vocabulaire
Je serai toujours volontaire
Je ne crie plus depuis longtemps
Je n’occupe pas les premiers rangs
Je pardonne à qui la faute
Je marche dans le pas des autres
Et je suis sans la moindre erreur
Le dur chemin vers le bonheur
Je suis ce qu’il faut que je sois
Je suis l’avis majoritaire
c’est ce que j’ai toujours vu faire
Je ne me fais pas d’illusions
Je surveille mes fréquentations
Je ne ris pas dans les églises
Les imprévus me terrorisent
Je surveille mon cholestérol
Je n’ai jamais manqué l’école
Je n’use d’aucun artifice
Et j’ai confiance en la justice
Je suis adulte et responsable
Je fais ce qui est préférable
Je laisse gagner mon adversaire
Si je mens, je vais en enfer
Du premier jour au dernier soir
Je n’aurai fait que mon devoir
Je suis ce qu’il faut que je sois
Je fais ce qu’il faut que je fasse
J’ai fait le choix d’être
En surface
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