Spike in girlie voice: How can I thank you, you mysterious black
clad hunk of a knight thing.
Spike in Cheesy Man voice: No need little lady. Your tears of
gratitude are enough for me. You see I was once a badass vampire,
but love and a pesky curse defanged me. And now I’m just a big
fluffy puppy with bad teeth. No! Not the hair, never the hair.
Spike in girlie voice: But there must be some way I can show my
appreciation.
Spike in Cheesy Man voice: NO! Helping those in need’s my job.
And working up a load of sexual tension and prancing away like
a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough.
Spike in girlie voice: I understand I have a nephew who’s gay…..so…
Spike in Cheesy Man voice: Say no more! Evil’s still afoot. And
I’m almost out of the nancy boy hair gel I like so much.
Quickly! To the Angel mobile away!
New scene
Oz: Hello L.A.
Cordelia: Oz? O my god…Oz! I am so happy to see you!
Good ‘ol Oz…Oz! Oz!
Doyle: Lemme just take a stab at it…you’d be Oz?
Oz: Good guess.
Cordelia: This is so cool...I mean here you are, in L.A. and you’re
the total embodiment of all things Sunnydale.
Oz: Well it’s a burden, but I manage.
Cordelia: OK! We have serious catching up to do. How’s everything?
How’s, How’s the Bronze?
Oz: The same
Cordelia: And the gang?
Oz: Their good.
Cordelia: Good, GOOD!....GOOD!
Oz: We done?
Cordelia: Completely
New scene
Cordelia: I’ve heard…but I doubt very much…that the main
characters are Betty and Barney Rubble, as you so vehemently
insisted last night. Also I don’t think Oz appreciated being called
my little Bam Bam all night.
New scene
*BANG*
Spike: Cordelia…you look smashing….
Cordelia: YES! You know there’s this great gym on….hey!
New Scene
Cordelia: Spike’s nearly done Buffy in a few times. I mention he has
killed two slayers already?
Doyle: You did.
Cordelia: Oh! And this one time he and Dru raised this demon that
burned people alive from the inside. It was this whole weird thing
with an arm in a box,
Doyle: An arm in a box?
*phone rings*
Doyle: It’s close enough dimwit.
New Scene
Spike: What is it with you good guys runnin’ in packs? Who’s this one
then?
Doyle: More than meets the eye, Blondie. Where’s Angel?
Spike: Um… Tall brooding guy? Caveman brow? He’s having
the living Hell tortured out of him.
Cordelia: I don’t trust you.
Spike: A coin of popular Sunnydale phrase…duh!
New Scene
Spike: And suddenly I’m so painfully bored! In one piece was
never part of the deal.
New Scene
*Weird sound*
Spike: Lucy, I’m home….Bloody hell.
New Scene
Spike: SON OF A BITCH! I do the work, I do the digging, fight off
the slayer, drive to L.A. I hire the help. And what do I get?
Bloody screwed is what! Well, that cinches it! No more partners.
From now on…I’m my own man! Lone wolf…soul survivor…here,
Look out! Here comes Spike...the biggest baddest mother….moan
*sound of fire*…..I really hope they kill each other…
New Scene
Oz: Incredibly pale. I’m just very pail…I’m paler than most people…
New Scene:
Angel: I don’t know about you, but I had a nice day.
You know except for the fact that I was nearly tortured to death.
Doyle: But you stood up…
Angel: O god...I was this close to telling them everything.
I mean one more hot poker and I was giving them the ring…
Your mom everything. How is your mom?
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