Jaahahaaa!
Weet u waar ik heel erg van hou?
Van paarden!
Ik hou heel erg van paarden! Ik hou van dikke paarden, dunne paarden, grote paarden, kleine paarden, maar ook van zwarte paarden met een witte punt op hun kop! Ja, daar hou ik van.
En ik vind het altijd zo mooi met paarden, dat ze steigeren tegen de achtergrond van een ondergaande zon. Dat vin' ik mooi.
Vroeger dan ging ik altijd paardje rijden. Dat zat ik zo op de rug van het paard met een plank. Als je paard dan moes' lopen, dan sloeg ik 'm met die plank zo *pats* op zijn kop. En dan schrok ie. En dan ging ie lopen. En als ik wat harder wilde, dan sloeg ik wat harder *PATS*. En als ik er vanaf wilde, dan sloeg ik z hard *PATS!* dat ie door z'n voorpoten zakte en kon ik er zo vanaf stappen.
En als ik dan weer verder wilde, pakte ik een emmer ijskoud water, gooide dat over zijn kop, schrok ie weer wakker en dan gingen we verder paardje rijden! En met een goed paard deed ik dan een week.
En na die week was het paard dan rijp voor de jacht. Dan ging ik met mijn vrienden op paardenjacht! En dan joegen wij het paard zo strategisch in een hoek... van de eh.. stal. En dan stond ik zo te trappen tegen zijn benen - want een paard heb' benen h? - en bleef je maar trappen tot ie als een blok beton tegen de grond viel en dan met de blote hand wurgen.
Dan kon wel effe duren ja!
Mr dames en heren, er waren ook mensen, en daar wil ik me bij deze graag van distantiren, dat waren mensen die vond het leuk leuk, die om als dat het paard dood op de grond lag om dan.... het dode paard... in de reet te neuken! Ja, maar daar hou ik niet van. Dat heb' met sport helemaal niks te maken!
Hans Teeuwen (born in 1967) is a Dutch performer known for his work as a stand-up comedian and musician. His music, often described as folk rock with electronic influences, features ironic and sharp lyrics that tackle social and political issues. Teeuwen has released several albums, including "Heist", considered one of his most important works. His career has been marked by growing success in the Netherlands and abroad, where he is appreciated for his comedic talent and his ability to engage audiences with energetic and entertaining performances. Some of his most representative songs include "De Klant", "Ik ben Hans Teeuwen" and "Heist".
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