For years we had an aspidistra in a flower pot
On the whatnot, near the 'atstand in the 'all
It didn't seem to grow 'til one day our brother Joe
Had a notion that he'd make it strong and tall
So he's crossed it with an acorn from an oak tree
And he's planted it against the garden wall
It shot up like a rocket, 'til it's nearly reached the sky
It's the biggest aspidistra in the world
We couldn't see the top of it, it got so bloomin' high
It's the biggest aspidistra in the world
When father's had a snoot full at his pub, 'The Bunch of Grapes'
He doesn't go all fighting mad and getting into scrapes
No, you'll find him in his bear-skin playing Tarzan of the apes
Off the biggest aspidistra in the world
We have to get it watered by the local fire brigade
So they put the water rates up half a crown
The roots stuff up the drains, grow along the country lanes
And they came up half a mile outside the town
Once we hired an auditorium for a hot house
But a jealous rival went and burnt it down
The tom cats and their sweethearts love to spend their evenings out
Up the biggest aspidistra in the world
They all begin meowing when the buds begin to sprout
From the biggest aspidistra in the world
The dogs all come around for miles, a lovely sight to see
They sniff around for hours and hours and wag their tails with glee
So I've had to put a notice up to say it's not a tree
It's the biggest aspidistra in the world
Gracie Fields (1898-1978) was a celebrated British actress, singer, and comedian. Born in Rochdale, Lancashire, Fields began her theatrical career in the 1920s, quickly gaining popularity for her performances of popular songs and comedic sketches. Her melodious voice and talent for improvisation captivated the British public, making her one of the biggest stars of vaudeville. Throughout her career, Fields starred in numerous musical films and recorded several successful albums. She was also a cultural icon, known for her warmth and social activism. During World War II, Fields performed for British troops, helping to boost morale during difficult times. Her musical legacy continues to be celebrated today, with many artists reinterpreting her iconic songs such as 'Sally' and 'Wish Me Luck'.
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