Papà io ti devo dire una cosa
con la mia ragazza siamo arrivati a un punto di non ritorno
litighiamo sempre, non le va bene mai nulla
tu come hai fatto con la mamma per trentatré anni?
Figlio mio il tuo è un discorso antico
noi mariti ormai usiamo il caveau
Il caveau?
Il caveau, il caveau
là dentro c'è la soluzione a tutti i problemi
ma per entrarci devi essere sposato
Ma, ma quindi mi stai dicendo che voi mariti
avete trovato il modo per sopportare le donne?
Ca cettu, se no dopo trentatré anni
comu a supputtassi ancora a to matri?
Il caveau dei mariti
è il luogo in cui tutti quelli sposati
riportano le loro esperienze di vita di coppiaquesta esperienza viene registrata tramite potenti macchinari
che sintetizzano la voce, lo stato d'animo e la situazione
successivamente tale esperienza
viene riversata in dei concentrati liquidi
che una volta bevuti
attivano dei recettori di sopportazione negli uomini
permettendogli immediatamente di evitare ogni tipo di lite
ogni boccetta viene catalogata ed etichettata
con il nome dei problemi che creano le mogli
il caveau è nascosto all'interno di uno dei bar
più sorvegliati ed inaccessibili del mondo
Per entrare nel caveau occorreva un piano di difficoltà estrema
ma siccome siamo uomini... "mi scusi, il bagno?"
"In fondo a destra!"
"Bene, adesso dimmi appena sei in posizione"
"Ok sono dentro"
"ok sulla tua sinistra troverai le boccette... rubale!"
"che devo fare?"
"stai calmo, sulla tua destra, pillole di trasformazione"
"Jumpytec?"
"fidati"
"va bene, la prendo, la prendo, la prendo"
"adesso cambiati...
Jumpytec è basso, sfuggirai alle guardie...
vedi? avevo ragione, è stato un gioco da ragazzi
adesso esci con disinvoltura
la missione è compiuta... buona fortuna!
Dai tienimi la borsa, Promod che sto di corsa
che dici, sembro grassa?
c'è tutto a metà prezzo, ti giuro faccio presto
aspetta nel parcheggio
potrei scappare e abbandonarla
e riprendermi la libertà
oh ma Murry che ci fai ancora lì?
muoviti, guarda Ibiza è bellissima
Io già sudo nella Panda
chissà ancora quanto ci starà
Io cerco un presupposto per lasciarla ma so già
che tanto non appena tornerà
Faccio quello che vuole
altrimenti lo so già
questa notte dormo fuori in balcone
e domani neanche mi parlerà
ma prima o poi arriverà
la mia rivincita
ma fino a quel momento là
so già come finirà... pararara....
Non sto più nella pelle, finale di calcetto
l'adrenalina a mille
ma ho dovuto annullare, la devo accompagnare al corso di pilates
ma perchè non ti vuoi ribellare?
hai provato almeno a dirglielo?
non capisci la mia situazione
fidati non sono l'unico
Trecento euro spesi dal parrucchiere
io invece vado in giro vestito da barbone
tornati a casa è stanca e non vuole cucinare
vorrei tanto arrabbiarmi ma poi lascio stare
Faccio quello che vuole
altrimenti lo so già
questa notte dormo fuori in balcone
e domani quando si sveglierà
so che me lo rinfaccerà
e poi mi accuserà
di tutto si lamenterà
chissà quando finirà... pararara....
Distesi in riva al mare, lei comincia a sbuffare
penso alle parole di papà
"e non c'è nulla da fare, guarda me con tua madre
più va avanti e più peggiorerà
ma fai come papà!"
Single a vita, piuttosto!
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