feat. Sway & Tech
[Intro - Eminem]
Yo.. yo!
Mic check.. (My dick!)
Testing.. one, two
Ffff-fuck.. (My dick!)
My nuts..
[Verso 1 - Eminem]
My attitude is worse
than NWA's was
I'll battle you over
stupid shit and diss people
who ain't have shit
to do with it,
like Cool J does (My tattoo!)
You see me standin outside
of your buildin; screamin,
"Puffy is good, (HEY!)
but Slim Shady
is for the children!" (WAIT!)
I look at my life in
a new light -- fuck it
Give me two mics;
I write songs for me --
fuck what you like
You're probably hear me
rap half-hearted;
cause I don't like rap anyway
I'm just tryin to get
my porno career started
Every place and event..
Been There, Done That
Shit, Dre stuck me in
a suitcase when he went
"Come on, let's go!"
Want a deal?
Study these 5 chapters
Lesson One:
Throw demos as hard
as you can at
signed rappers
Lesson Two:
Face em and diss em
(whattup dog?)
Don't give em a demo;
kidnap em (I want you
to come with me)
and make em come to
your basement and listen
(you're gonna fuckin
check this out)
Lesson Three:
Get a job at a label;
switch demos with Canibus
and put yours on the
owner's table (here listen!)
Lesson Four: 'Know you
heard this before'
"Hey let me get your number;
I'll call you tomorrow, for sure!"
Don't act like a fan --
you wanna get signed?
Get the whitest
A&R you can find
Pull him aside and rap
as wack as you can
Lesson Five:
Get a hook-up at Jive
Dress up like I.C.P. and have
them come see you perform live
And that's the key,
but when you see me on the street;
I ain't givin you shit bitch -
don't even bother askin me
(get away from me)
Toilet water splashes me right
in the ass when I'm spittin
cause I'm always shittin when
I'm rappin like Master P
Got a blowjob from
Paula Jones, and stuffed it
so far in her mouth
my balls broke both of
her collarbones (OWW!)
Told Mya this shit was all
about me-ah ("It's all about me..")
Gave Alyssa Milano syphillis,
mono and gonorrhea
("You're a dick!")
And all three of my main
girls said SEE-YA
Cause Brandy and Monica
walked in and caught
me fuckin Aaliyah
(What? Oh my God!)
I splish splash while I'm takin a bath
Grab a handful of pills,
break em in half, take em and laugh
White trash --
fuckin your wife in the ass
("Oh! Ooh Shady! Oooh!")
While you're out siphoning gas for
your lawnmower to cut the grass
[Ritornello - Eminem]
So if I hurt your self-esteem
and you get dissed too bad
[Yo why you diss me?]
You know I just be sayin
that to get you mad
And when I rap about
a buncha shit
you wished you had
[A big dick!]
You know I just be sayin
that to get you mad
"I can't listen to that song,
that shit's too sad!"
You know I just be sayin
that to get you mad
"He'll never make it,
his wrist is slit too bad!"
[Nurse! Nurse!]
You know I just be sayin
that to get you mad
[Verso 2 - Eminem]
What a wonderful day;
I should go outside and play
Ain't no need to sit inside
the house and hibernate
Hi Renee! (Oh hi!) I was just
about to toss a live grenade
in your driveway (WHAT?)
and drive away
Are you afraid of a blade made of a
razor with AIDS blood drippin from it,
rippin your stomach like a paper mache?
You talk a lotta shit,
but you was never ill though
I'm sick enough to beat you
to death with a feather pillow
Tipped over some cows,
just for a joke and a laugh
(MOOOOO!)
Jumped up,
choked a giraffe,
snapped his neck
and broke it in half
Wagin wars, went on stage
and sprayed Cage
with Agent Orange
And wiped my ass with
his page in Source (Here!)
The demon is here,
steamin this year
I rip [*Mystikal's*] voicebox out,
scream in his ear (AHHHHHH!)
It's not a gimmick bitch,
it's an image I live it
Give a fuck? I don't know
what a fuck is to give it
"Yeah I don't think
this guy is well.."
I'm high as hell
I'll beat you with a live cat
when I'm swinging him by his tail
[Eminem imita Method Man]
I'll fuckin, I'll fuckin
Lay your nuts on the dresser
Just your nutsack by itself and bang
them shits with a spiked bat
Cut your neck off and
sew your head right back
And leave you like that
[Verso 3 - Eminem]
You just triggered the prick
who just mixed liquor
Who's itchin to leave you
disfigured and stiffer
than Chris-topher Reeves,
I was teething with strep throat
while your mother was breastfeeding
and gave her the
flesh-eating disease
I'm iller than takin a hammer
and beatin your knees
and walkin through
South Central L.A.,
bleedin in jeans
(Am I a Blood or a Crip?)
Wakin up the next day
in breathin machines
Flashin back to being shot
and repeatin the scenes
on how you just got smoked,
and if you do live you'll be too scared
to tell it, like a Biggie and 'Pac joke
[Ritornello - Eminem]
So if I hurt your self-esteem
and you get dissed too bad
You know I just be sayin
that to get you mad
And when I rap about
a buncha shit
you wished you had
You know I just be sayin
that to get you mad
"I can't listen to that song,
that shit's too sad!"
You know I just be sayin
that to get you mad
"He'll never make it,
his wrist is slit too bad!"
You know I just be sayin
that to get you mad
[Outro - Eminem]
I know that makes you
real mad, don't it? (uh-huh)
That's right, Slim Shady (yup)
Sway & Tech
Sprayin wreck (bitch)
And we don't give
a heck (uh-uh)
or a damn.. or a fuck.. or a shit
So suck my motherfuckin dick
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