Why is pain so compelling to me?
Through the night I've crawled, hateful and ashamed
Drowning powerless in the despair of my worst memories
Confronted with and tortured by my own secrets
I cannot choose not to believe, I need to know
Stay close to me as this story comes to pass
A momentary glimpse of the ones behind the net
And the twinkling eye of the maker of the wands
Running down a slope of recollections
The descending mist of a gaunt and silent spectre
The coiling of nerves and the tightened hush
The bowstring tension of anticipation
I have become the abyss that reflected me
Sympathy or apathy if the dead could speak
Holes in the heavens like the gaps in myself
Crying as fantasies breed frustration
The sunrise has not come, drained of all hope
Absence, nothing, a child in the dark
Hearing the screams of my dying parents
Witnessing the killing, touching the cadavers
A flash of sickness and the rush of speeding death
The shrill high laughter of a merciless voice
A murderer crushed by protective love
Seven mutilations of a single soul
The pure lust for inflicting hurt
A pitiless gaze atop a lipless mouth
Images of my friends weaken and fade
Each doubt reopening miseries long suppressed
As every promise abandons me
Excruciating loss is transmuted into iron resolve
I am the spark before the blaze
Beyond all restraint in an instant of fury
Beads of light vibrate to the timbre of joining wills
The brothers meet and the cores sing in recognition
The synchronicity of two minds equal in strength
Now it is I who calls you by name
Father and mother are gone and I can never be whole again
Every fibre bore the pressure contorting every wound
I will not die crouching, hiding, kneeling in supplication
Straight-backed and proud I am the stone of your defeat
For all the times I feared to speak
For all the days I dreaded the dawn
For all the years I fought alone
I shall give you the obliteration of the curse that disappears you like the words you have spoken!!!
As a dream of distress fades upon awakening
Agony is reconciled over the creeping of time
Healing tears of vindication and wisdom
The graceful retribution of maturity
The boy who lived is now the man with the lightning scar
The one who survived as the other diminished
Beast being and spirit shall endure to testify
He was a master of spells.
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