[J:] Hey Kage
[K:] Jables
[J:] How goes it man?
[K:] S'good? s'good
[J:] Y'know I been thinking a lot about it, and um, I just want us to be the
best fucking band in the world.
[K:] Well yeah me too!
[J:] There's no point in doing it if we're not the best.
[K:] Well s'true. I agree with that.
[J:] I mean what, yeah we're gonna be, yeah we're really good. We're like
almost as good as Arcade Fire, fuck that.
[K:] Yeah
[J:] We gotta leave those fuckers in the dust!
[K:] What, what do you..
[J:] All those fucking youngsters gotta lick our fucking boot or fuck it!
Y'know what I mean?
[K:] Yeah! Yeah, well what, how do we do that though?
[J:] [sigh] Dude you need to fucking have some lessons.
[K:] What!
[J:] I know, you're really good but you gotta expand your game.
[K:] Lessons!
[J:] Y'know how Koby in the off season would go and like, learn a fucking,
y'know a Texas Two-Step or something, to add to his arsenal?[
K:] Man, yeah, that's true. That's true.
[J:] Well I've just been noticing some of your classic riffs are a little sloppy.
[K:] Really?
[J:] And I, I hope you're not pissed off at me but I went ahead and hired a dude.
[K:] Yeah? Oh no, what!
[J:] Dude, just give it a chance will you? If you don't like- ah hey! I
swear, if you don't like it we'll fucking fire his ass. He's out.
[K:] Who is this guy? I never?
[J:] His name is Felix Char [?]
[K:] Urgh, what.
[J:] He's from Spain and he is the best.
[K:] Oh god?
[J:] I got him from the fucking London Phildsarmonic. (Meant to be Philharmonic)
[K:] Urgh, I just, I don't know him, it seems weird!
[J:] Will you just, will you just spend a minute with him?
[K:] OK. Alright. I'll spend a minute with him.
[J:] OK bro, he's right outside I'm sending him in.
[K:] Oh god, OK. Why? Lessons, so stupid.
[F:] Hello?
[K:] Uh, hi!
[F:] Hello, I am Felix Char.
[K:] Hi, uh. Felix? Yeah, um.
[F:] Ah, as, Jack as asked me to spend some time with you. Uh.
[K:] OK, hm.
[F:] One on one. So, while Jack is outside, ah we will work on your technique.
[K:] OK.
[F:] Can I see you pick up, is this your guitar here?
[K:] Yup. Yeah, I gotta it, I gotta it right over here.
[F:] Ah, it is a Fender ay? Is this a Fender?
[K:] Ah well it's a Gibson.
[F:] Yes a Gibson, yes. Made by the same, uh, manufacturer. Pick it up please, can you pick it up?
[K:] OK. Yeah.
[F:] No, no, no, d-d-d-d-d-d-d bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap!
[K:] What? What'd I do? What'd I do?
[F:] You pick it up from the neck! This is not the way you pick up a guitar!
[K:] I just picked it up, I just-
[F:] No,no, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, cállate tu bocar, pick it up from the body.
[K:] The what!
[F:] The body.
[K:] Oh the body! Body, OK.
[F:] I'm sorry about my accent.
[K:] I didn't know, I didn't know.
[F:] Now listen to me. I want you to play, like it is a woman. You go and play the guitar now. Play.
[K:] Uh, OK? Uh.
[F:] No, no, no, no, no. You, your fingers. Your fingers are too tight.
[K:] They're too tight?
[F:] Yes, let me get behind you. Like this, you see?
[K:] Oh! Hn.
[F:] If I put my finger, on your finger.
[K:] Hey!
[F:] Then you can feel?
[K:] I can! Wait!
[F:] Sh, sh, sh, sh, shu! Finger to your mouth. I put my finger on your mouth, on your lips.
[K:] Mhmhm!
[F:] Yes that's good.
[K:] Hey man!
[F:] Now listen hey, you want to play like an orgasm.
[K:] I'm just try- what!?
[F:] Feel this. Do you feel that?
[K:] Oh god! This is really weird man!
[F:] That's my cock.
[K:] WHAT!
[F:] That's my cock in your butt cheeks.
[K:] OH GOD! Hey!
[F:] Do you feel it?
[K:] NO!
[F:] Now I'm going to tough your cock.
[K:] OW!
[F:] Let me touch your penis.
[J:] It's me!
[K:] WHAT?!
[J:] It's me. It's JB.
[K:] GOD!
[J:] There's no Felix dude.
[K:] What are you doing?!
[J:] I'M FUCKING WAKING YOU UP! I'M TRYING TO SHAKE YOUR FOUNDATIONS!
[K:] By touching me with your penis?!
[J:] YES! By fucking touching your penis! Whatever it takes!
[K:] God!
[J:] That's all I'm saying dude! I'm making a point! Let's get fucking
serious! Let's get physical! Alright. Let's take it from the top.
Tenacious D is an American musical duo consisting of musicians and actors Jack Black and Kyle Gass, known for their blend of rock music with vulgar comedy. The band's name derives from the term "Tenacious D", used by NBA commentators as an abbreviation for "Tenacious defense". Active since 1994, they have released three studio albums: "Tenacious D" (2001), "The Pick of Destiny" (2006) and "Rize of the Fenix" (2012). Their musical style is characterized by energetic rock riffs, humorous and often self-deprecating lyrics, with influences from heavy metal, folk and blues. Among their most famous songs are "Tribute", "Wonderboy", and "Kickapoo". In 2006 they also starred in the film "Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny", a comedy based on their story.
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