Katie was a small town homecoming queen
Started dating Dale when she was 19
Her paw thought awh naw Dale's just dumb
But Katie swore her heart and her mind were made up
But she started seeing when Dale started drinking
He'd start yelling for no damn reason
Kiss her then hit her, say something's wrong with her
But she'd still make him that finger licking chicken dinner
One day she caught Dale rolling in the hay
Called up her girls, said here's the thing
Grab a shovel and double barrel, meet me at the bar
And that's how the whole thing started
She went:
Hi ho, the whiskey flows
I think my ex has got to go
Take a little nap in a burlap sack
Take a little trip where he don't come back
Hey hey, whatcha say
I know this sounds all kinds of crazy
But he's got mean and beating, cheating running through him
Don't feel bad — that boy has it coming to him
Well Katie said girls now here's the plan
I know none of us ever killed a man
Jenny said we can probably fit him in my truck
Still got a little blood from when I killed that buck
Becky said I got a fresh set of knives
In case they might come in handy tonight
Brenda said I got a big mop and gloves
Reckon little Pine-Sol'll clean him on up
We can take him to the lake
And make it look just like he drank
And ran his boat into a log in the fog and it sank
They had their plan so they raised a toast
Said Dale's so dumb no one's ever gonna know
Hi ho, the whiskey flows
I think my ex has got to go
Take a little nap in a burlap sack
Take a little trip where he don't come back
Hey hey, whatcha say
I know this sounds all kinds of crazy
But he's got mean and beating, cheating running through him
Don't feel bad — that boy has it coming to him
They took care of Dale and disappeared
Not a trace, no case — they were outta here
And legend has it they're in Mexico
And if you get 'em drunk you can hear them go
Hi ho, the whiskey flows
My ex is dead, he had to go
Take a little nap in a burlap sack
Take a little trip and he never came back
Hey hey, whatcha say
I know this sounds all kinds of crazy
But he had mean and beating, cheating running through him
Don't feel bad — that boy had it coming to him
I guarantee that no one's gonna miss him
Don't feel bad — that boy had it coming to him
"Two of Us" is a song co-written and recorded by Canadian country music artist Brett Kissel and American country artist Cooper Alan. The two artists wrote the song with Matt McKinney and Seth Mosley, while Mosley produced the track with Michael "X" O'Connor.
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