you know I run a home for the hopeless
formerly good people gone astray
Im here to ask you all for some money
To keep our little place warm and safe
I'd like to thank you first for the dinner
the chocolate moose was such a grand delight
but do you care about the lost and the forgotten
enough to write a big fat check tonight ?
our little place
we've got prostitutes and aids
we've got burglars. deviant poets, and thieves
religious nuts who act out Bible stuff
like killin their kids for publicity
Im sure you must agree that its our duty
To help a fallen Birdie fly again
We've gotta lift them up, so they can live like us
Eat Dorrittos, take vacations and watch TV
Our little place
we've got a man with half a face
whose step-dad took a blow-torch to his head
in our little home
we've got a girl who sits alone
combing her pubic hair with a chainsaw
but its nice in the evening, when everything calms down and you can hear little crickets in the darkness makin that chirpin
sound.....
Right down the hall you'll find heroin
and tall little vials of a drug you never heard of
On a trip to the john
You might cross paths with cross-eyed Juan
swingin his knife on a three-day binge
and though he means you no harm
hes hearin voices than alarm
and inform him that you have a secret plan
Thank god you got me
to contain this surly lot
or they'd be climbin the walls up onto your yacht
but its nice in the evening, when everything calms down and you can hear little crickets in the darkness makin that chirpin
sound.....
and have you ever known a cricket who went bad?
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