It's funny how in the haze
The strangest moments stick out, highlighted on the page
Of a script that someone else had written for you
Just an actor, another player merely passing through
In moments of refrain, you were just
Intent on damning the words set to dissarange
Synergy between paper and the ink
The phrase you seek remains always out of reach
The bigger picture
Always thought about, but rarely spoken of
Looking for answers to questions you can’t quite recall
In waiting, I'd have hoped
To sever ties between the prospect and what I know
In and out; does this unrest have a cure?
Does it lie in this haze, so furtively obscured?
In lessons by the day (I think)
Turning round the moments burned into my mind
In fading context, just past the scope of the light:
Febrile stanzas on a script I didn't write
The bigger picture
Always thought about, but rarely spoken of
Looking for answers to questions you can't quite recall
To my frank disgust and revulsion
I feel entitled to better things that I know I don't deserve
As I yearn for the edge of the knife
In shame and by moral contortion
I feel resentment for those I love and I feel it's getting worse
As I yearn for the edge of the knife
And you ask for reason beyond the hope that all the pieces will just fall into place
And that the peace I search for will be found in a metaphor or clever turn of phrase
But how unfulfilling a conclusion to a story that had you on your seat's edge
For so long
Maybe too long
As though the pages of a child's story contained some kind of truth that you just can't find
The cycle repeats
And as though in reply I say I'm haunted by
The bigger picture
Often thought about but rarely spoken of
Looking for answers to problems I create and inflame but never bring myself to resolve
And now I'll find it
In the space between unrest and barely waking up
To routine progress like every effort made is misplaced and every line has been undone
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