Bodo Wartke

Lyrics Probleme, die ich früher noch nicht hatte Bodo Wartke

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Probleme, die ich früher noch nicht hatte


Ich trage ja bisher immer ganz leger

den Kragen meines Hemdes offen über dem Revers.

Jetzt heiratet ein Freund von mir in ein paar Tagen

und ich soll da zum ersten Mal Krawatte tragen.

Das sind Probleme, die ich früher noch nicht hatte,

wie, zum Teufel, bindet man bitte ne Krawatte?

Früher hat es so ein Problem in meinem Leben nicht gegeben!


Das Schöne ist, dass ich so manch ansprechende Frau

mich inzwischen auch mal anzusprechen trau.

Das Problem dass ich jetzt aber mit den Miezen krich:

Ich duze sie, sie siezen mich.

Das sind Probleme, die ich früher noch nicht hatte,

so hol ich mir ne Abfuhr ab, und zwar ne glatte!

Früher hat es so ein Problem in meinem Leben nicht gegeben!


Ich habe mich schon immer über Post gefreut,

heute krieg ich eher E-Mails und zwar deut-

lich mehr als früher, doch in den meisten geht es um

Viagra und Penisverlängerung.


Das sind Probleme, die ich früher noch nicht hatte,

eine mit lauter Müll verstopfte Festplatte.

Früher hat es so was wie Spam in meinem Läben nicht gegäben!


Wenn ich auch sonst ein ziemlich schlimmer Finger bin,

beim Pipimachen setze ich mich immer hin - immerhin.

Doch kommt es vor, dass mein Mobiltelefon

mir aus der Hosentasche rutscht - und man ahnt es schon...


Das sind Probleme, die ich früher noch nicht hatte,

Ich frag mich ob mir Nokia mein Handy erstattetà

Früher hat es so ein Problem in meinem Leben nicht gegeben!


Ich geh in nem Café in Berlin-Mitte

An die Theke und sage: ?Einen Kaffee bitte!"

Hinter der Theke steht ne Kellnerin

Sie lächelt mich an und sagt: ?Welchen denn?

Caffè Latte plus Sirup oder Cappuccino,

Espresso, Caramel Macchiato, Frappuccino,

Extra Shot Caffè Latte, Caffè Mocha whipped?

Das ganze gibts natürlich auch blended oder light.

Décaf.."-?Äh was?"-?Entkoffeiniert

Und die Milch dazu gibt es auch Fettreduziert.

Low-Fat, No-Fat, Laktosefrei,

oder Soja, vielleicht noch etwas Sirup mit dabei?

Vanille, Caramel, Macademia,

Schoko, Haselnuss...?" ?Äh, ich nehm..."

?Wir haben auch noch den Coffee of the week" ?Ach so."

?Oder French Press for here oder to go.

Jetzt müssen Sie sich nur noch für die Größe entscheiden:

Tall, Grande oder Venti? Was darf es sein?"


Das sind Probleme, die ich früher noch nicht hatte,

früher sagte man noch Milchkaffee und nicht Latte.

Ich sag zur Kellnerin: ?Ich nehme glaub ich lieber einen Tee!"


Meine Freundin, mit der ich schon seit langer Zeit zusammen bin

meinte neulich: ?Ich bin schwanger!"

Ich sag: 'Das ist ja toll!" Das sagt sie zu mir:

'Stimmt, das Kind ist aber nicht von dir."


Das sind Probleme, die ich früher noch nicht hatte,

alter wenn ich den erwische, der dich - Diese Ratte!

Früher hat es so ein Problem in meinem Leben nicht gegeben!


Wie man sieht, Probleme habe ich zu Hauf!

Das Beste wär vielleicht ich häng mich einfach auf.

Doch meine Hoffnung schwindet, statt eines Strickes findet

sich nur ne Krawatte an und ich weiß ja nicht einmal wie man die bindet.


Probleme, die ich früher schon mal hatte.

Wie, zum Teufel, bindet man noch mal ne Krawatte?

Ich glaub es wird so manches Problem in meinem Leben,

ich glaub es wird so manches Problem in meinem Leben,

ich glaub es wird so manches Problem in meinem Leben immer geben.

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Biografia

Bodo Wartke is a German performer born in 1977. His discography includes Achillesverse, Ich Denke, Also Sing Ich (Unterwegs) Ich denke, also sing ich, Noah war ein Archetyp - Das erste Mal and Noah War Ein Archetyp.

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