I call you from my car to say, "I'll be there in awhile,"
A short plane ride and I will get to see your pretty smile.
Nothing on the radio, I fiddle with the dial,
Then I see a sign, the airport's just another mile.
I check my bags and think about how much I hate to fly.
And as I near security, I almost start to cry.
Well, I hope the law enforcement agents can't tell from my face,
I've got 3 balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place.
I'm sweating and I'm nervous and I need a little air,
Cause with 4 balloons of heroin, it's getting crowded up in there.
Crowded up in there.
My mind is all a jumble and my blood is cold as ice,
I dread the thought of having to unload this merchandise.
"Relax," I say, "It's not so bad, it might feel kinda nice.
Besides, who hasn't a finger up there once or twice?"
I must remember, don't leave any drugs inside the host,
I did that once and a girl who tossed my salad overdosed!
Well, I say a little prayer, Hail Maria Full of Grace,
I've got 3 balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place.
I'm sweating and I'm nervous and I need a little air,
And I swear I'm farting lines of blow into my underwear,
From my derriere.
I was a little eager when I loaded up my stash,
5 balloons of ecstasy and 6 balloons of hash.
8 balloons of LSD and 9 of Sensimil.
A box of Chinese fireworks, Guatemalan child.
I made it to my gate now and my joy I can't contain,
I board the aircraft and take my seat in the cockpit of the plane!
As I taxi down the runway, I get a smile on my face,
I've got 3 balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place.
Flight crew, prepare for takeoff, as I lift us into air,
And, by the way, does anyone want to by Guatemalan child?
From my derriere.
I got 3 balloons.
Uh, I got 3 balloons.
Oooh, I got 3 balloons!
Stephen Andrew Lynch è un cantautore, comico e attore statunitense nato a Boston nel 1972. Noto per il suo stile musicale unico che combina elementi di folk, rock alternativo e cabaret, Lynch ha conquistato una vasta fanbase grazie alle sue canzoni ironiche, spesso autoironiche, e ai suoi testi pungenti che affrontano temi come la vita quotidiana, le relazioni umane e l'esperienza americana. La sua carriera musicale è iniziata negli anni '90 con spettacoli in locali di Boston prima di ottenere un successo nazionale con il suo album di debutto "A Little Bit of Everything" (2003). Lynch ha pubblicato numerosi altri album di successo, tra cui "The Music Is Dead" (2005), "The Best of Stephen Lynch" (2010) e "Up in the Air" (2018). Oltre alla musica, Lynch è anche un attore affermato, con apparizioni in film e serie TV come "Scrubs", "Boston Legal" e "The Big Bang Theory". Tra le sue canzoni più famose si ricordano "I'm Gonna Be a Star", "The Ballad of the Broken Heart", "My Girlfriend's Boyfriend" e "You Can't Stop Me Now".
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