Baby - Stephen Lynch
This is for my little girl
My lady gives birth today
I run to her room right away
She smiles with glee, and hands her to me
I look at my newborn and say
Damn that's an ugly baby
Damn that's an ugly ass baby
I'm feeling quite concerned
My semen must have turned
'Cause damn that's an ugly baby
I can't believe this came from me
I think her mom did too much LSD
She's skinny like a twig
At least her nuts are big
But the placenta is cuter than she
Damn that's an ugly baby
God damn that's an ugly ass baby
I can't take her home today
She'll scare the dog away
'cause damn that's an ugly baby
And when she smiles I find
Shane McGowen comes to mind
It makes me want to cry
When I look into her good eye
I always wanted kids
Is it wrong to hope for SIDS?
Then the doctor calls me in
Mr. Lynch she has a twin
Damn that's a good-lookin' baby
One for two on the good lookin' babies
I almost start to weep
Now this one we can keep
Cause that was an ugly ass...
Damn that's an ugly baby (x4)
She's got one good tooth and one ear and one eye
And thank god just one nose, but it's on her left thigh
Now doctor I am asking you guy to guy
Would a really really really late term abortion still fly?
Oh no, not me!
I don't want no ugly baby!
I said damn that's an ugly ass baby
Damn that's an ugly ass baby...
Stephen Andrew Lynch is an American singer-songwriter, comedian, and actor born in Boston in 1972. Known for his unique musical style that blends elements of folk, alternative rock, and cabaret, Lynch has gained a large fanbase thanks to his ironic songs, often self-deprecating, and his sharp lyrics that tackle themes like everyday life, human relationships, and the American experience. His musical career began in the 1990s with performances in Boston clubs before achieving national success with his debut album "A Little Bit of Everything" (2003). Lynch has released numerous other successful albums, including "The Music Is Dead" (2005), "The Best of Stephen Lynch" (2010) and "Up in the Air" (2018). Besides music, Lynch is also a successful actor with appearances in films and TV series like "Scrubs", "Boston Legal" and "The Big Bang Theory". Among his most famous songs are "I'm Gonna Be a Star", "The Ballad of the Broken Heart", "My Girlfriend's Boyfriend" and "You Can't Stop Me Now".
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