Cledus at the kitchen table
Short of breath, legally disabled
Wife walks in, she's so surprised
Can't believe I'm still alive
I say I'm hungry for biscuits and gravy
That patty melt that you always made me
But I can't eat that anymore
They say grease kills;
Tastes good to me
Day in, day out it's all I eat
My third bypass, unclogged the valves
Just to clog them again
Never felt worse;
A constant thirst
Lordy how my left arm hurts
I blame my job, I blame my wife
For this coronary life
Cledus on the ER table
Vital signs ain't too stable
Hey, Doc, I'm proud of you
I didn't think that I'd pull through
Later in Intensive Care
I had the nurses laughing there
So thankful Blue Cross will pay
For the bills, my IVs
Four thousand dollar EKGs
That's the last time I need
Angioplasty
It's off I go to Type-O
To improve my cardio
It's about time I said goodbye
To my coronary life
Sweat's pouring off me at the health spa
The Stairmaster's wore me out again
You know I can't believe how much I miss
The way I used to live
I'd eat red meat,
Pickled pigs feet
Always craving something sweet
My food was fast,
But that's the past
I can't eat fat again
Aerobicize,
Reduced my thighs
No more German chocolate pie
I miss my fudge, I miss my fries
And my coronary life
James Barry Poole is an American country music artist who records under the name Cledus T. Judd. Known primarily for his parodies of popular country songs, he has been called the "Weird Al" Yankovic of country music, and his albums are usually an equal mix of original comedy songs and parodies. Judd has released 11 studio albums and two EPs, and several singles have entered the Billboard Hot Country Songs charts. His chart peak is the number-48 "I Love NASCAR", a parody of Toby Keith's 2003 single "I Love This Bar".
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