Baby close your eyes,
And hear the words I say,
Oh I realise
That you're in a lot of pain,
and I apologise,
I never wanted it this way,
Please...don't cry.
Baby I sold your dog on Ebay.
We both knew that we had bills to pay.
It was either him or my PlayStation 2,
Which doesn't even eat food,
And will never ever pee on the duvet.
One day I came home,
And that dog had escaped,
He forsook his bone,
And instead he ate
Everything I own
From the couch to the drapes,
I called you on the phone.
And said "I'm selling him on Ebay.We both know that we've got bills to pay.
He peed on season 2 of Deep Space 9,
That's crossing the line,
I'm listing the auction today."
I put him in a box with some styrofoam peanuts, A bag of kibble, and a couple of milk bones.
The guy online paid for overnight shipping,
So the very next day he was in Buffalo.
Oh, please don't cry
Oh, please don't cry
Oh, please don't cry
God dammit, stop crying.
He is frikkin' ugly,
Like a walking ball of fuzz,
And he poops constantly,
More than any other dog does,
But we won't have to worry
About it anymore because,
Please listen to me,
Yeah, I sold your dog on Ebay.
We both knew that we had bills to pay.
I got a hundred fifty dollars for
That mutt that peed all over my floor,
And I know there'll be hell to pay.
We had bills to pay,
So I sold her dog on Ebay
I told her "you have got to understand it,
Yeah, he could sit,
But he absolutely couldn't stay."
William Henry Green II is an American YouTuber, science communicator, novelist, stand-up comedian, and entrepreneur. He produces the YouTube channel Vlogbrothers with his older brother, author John Green, and hosts the educational YouTube channels Crash Course and SciShow. He has advocated for and organized social activism, created and hosted a number of other YouTube channels and podcasts, released music albums, and amassed a large following on TikTok.
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