Ex-Boyfriend
[Verse 1]
Now I been datin this girl named Katie, she hot as hell
And her body crazy, vagina shaven and it dont smell
And I don't fall for chickens
But this one a little different
Body sickening,
plus she really good at making breaded chicken
Got me thinkin she the one man
Even fully clothed, shawty really fun man
Get a lotta hos, but none of those come close
I swear this the most that I've felt so damn exposed
Oh yeah there's one more thing
And I know this shit gonna sound insane
But I still haven't hit it
I admit it, I wish I was kidding
Never been up inside before
Because shes only fucked one guy before
And though I really wanna boink this whore
She ma sweetie 3.14
So I'm stayin patient, and masterbating,
And now ma heart is sorta racing
Cuz she said tonight will be the night we do some fornicating
Hell yeah, I'm down, i'm bout to go all out
I'm gonna pound that crazy, like an elaborate black man Handshake
But on the way to crib, we pass this kid,
And he seem to know who Katie is
So I say "who this" and she say
Dicky, this is my ex boyfriend Jim"
[Chorus 1]
And I ain't usually the one to be the jealous type
But as I'm lookin at this dude I can't believe my eyes
Cuz he's the best looking guy that I've seen in my whole life
He's got the thickest head of hair, chiseled jaw, an egregious bod
Man this the closest thing I've seen to a Grecian god
And now I'm lookin at ma chick, cuz his dick's been inside her rawww
Awww damn
[Verse 2]
Man this is crazy
I can't believe this guy used to fuck ma lady
I bet he left that pussy ravaged like Haiti
Katie's huggin and squeezing his shoulder blades
And I'm buggin and queasy, this aint okay
And then they say, "let's get drinks" so I say okay
Even though I was about to get laid!
Man this mafucka look like Ashton
Combined wit a lil Hugh Jackman
In other words, he's so damn attractive
So damn tan he gotta have a little black in him
Now I'm in the back wit him, sippin on some yak wit him
And he payin for it all, he investment bankin...
I'm acting, like i ain't distracted
But I'm reenacting him and Katie bangin
And now I'm feelin pissed, so I go and take a piss
Mid stream, I look left and guess who it is
And I had to see, and I was mad discrete
And I got on my toes and I took a little peek
Oh my god becky, look at that cock
[Chorus 2]
And I ain't usually the one to be the jealous type
But as I'm lookin at his dick, I cant believe me eyes
Because he's got the biggest cock that I've seen in my whole life
And now I'm starin at this dude's soft dick with a lotta hate
Because the shit is plus 8 like Jon and Kate
And I don't know if I can date ma girl after tonighttttt
Aw damn
[Verse 3]
I don't know what to do
Dude's dick is really huge
I didn't realize a penis could be so smooth
I know she's missin that
My penis isn't that
I'm lookin closer I think that his dick has abs
Six pack on a dick
Now what the fuck is that
It's so long and thick
It's like a punching bag
I'm sayin it's so shaven, head is amazing
Got ma dick looking like a raisin
Skin tone insane, man he's hung like saddam hussain, its craazzy
What the fuck should I do?
He gotta Ruth's Chris dick, and mine's a drive thru....
I think it's time to
Tell Katie ma goodbyes
Cuz I simply can't survive
After seeing what was in between his thighs
So I tell her
[Chorus 3]
That this dude's gotta dick that I don't comprehend
I had to move ma neck to see it end to end
I mean the physics of his dick just don't make any sense
And I think it's for the best if this comes to an end
Because the sex with him must have been the best
And I would say let's just be friends,
But I think I would just think about his dick all the time, so goodbye
Then she told me dicky I don't really know what to say
Because I dated this dude in second grade
So I don't know about his dick, now let's go home and get you laiddd
And then I took her to ma crib, and you know that we belly slapped
And I gave her an O like I was selling crack, and when I came,
I pulled out and nutted all over her left thighhh. Aww damn
Lil Dicky, real name David Andrew Burd, is an American rapper, comedian, and environmental activist born in 1988. He began his career as an independent rapper, releasing mixtapes online and quickly gaining a fanbase thanks to his humorous style and songs that often address social and personal themes with a lighthearted and ironic approach. In 2013 he achieved national success with the single "Freaky Friday", a collaboration with Chris Brown that went viral on YouTube. In 2018, he released his debut album, *Professional Rapper*, followed by *Crisp* in 2020. Lil Dicky is also known for his comedy television series *Dave*, in which he plays an exaggerated version of himself as an aspiring rapper. Besides music and film, he is dedicated to environmental activism, collaborating with organizations like the WWF. Some of his most representative songs include "Save Dat Money", "Earth", and "Ex Girlfriend".
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