Well me and Bobby Ray was goin down to a pickup joint just outside of town,
You know a metting market, where you pick up chicks
Well knowing Bobby Ray as I do, He'll be goin home alone before the night is through,
He's just too darn picky, he's always wantin to score big!
Well I'm not leavin here alone, I'm gonna compromise, early on,
Yea, I'm goin ugly early tonight,
She may not be a beauty queen but that's alright,
I'm not waitin round for one that looks good in the light,
I'm goin ugly early tonight
So Bobby I says,
Please don't stare, but check them 2 out standin over there,
He says you mean the good lookin blonde and the one with the big zits?
I says, Yea that's right and here's my plan, I'm not goin for miss scandinavian, Her chubby lil friend...well that's my pick
You can drink them cute but not skinny,
You get too picky, you ain't gettin any
So I'm goin ugly early tonight,
She may not be a beauty queen but that's alright,
I'm not waitin round for on who looks good in the light,
I'm goin ugly early tonight.
Then all of a sudden to my surprise, the pretty one was givin me the eye,
And I was fixin to move up from a 2 to a 10!
She said, you know I don't live to far from here,
I'll get my purse and you pay for them beers,
And I was feelin pretty puffed up til she turned to her friend.
I guess she didn't I'd here,
Them hurtful words she whispered in little chubby's ear,
Yea I'm goin ugly early tonight,
His friend is better lookin but I ain't got the time,
I'm not waitin round for one that looks good in the light,
She said I'm goin ugly early tonight.
You know she really hurt my pride but way down deep inside
I'm glad she's goin ugly tonight!
James Barry Poole is an American country music artist who records under the name Cledus T. Judd. Known primarily for his parodies of popular country songs, he has been called the "Weird Al" Yankovic of country music, and his albums are usually an equal mix of original comedy songs and parodies. Judd has released 11 studio albums and two EPs, and several singles have entered the Billboard Hot Country Songs charts. His chart peak is the number-48 "I Love NASCAR", a parody of Toby Keith's 2003 single "I Love This Bar".
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