(verse 1)
I think I'm going to regret downloading this track
There's ninety-nine cents that I won't ever get back
But I paid for it anyway now people give me room
'Cause I'm dancin' like a pansy in my fancy living room
I went ahead and did it so at this point I'm committed
I don't get it, I could quit it, here's a sweater that I knitted
Did it really just throw in any rhyme if it could fit it?
I wonder if there's any that this idiot omitted
Acquitted, skidded, yeah I guess there are a few
And here's a beat box solo, what am I supposed to do?
[beat boxing]
Great, now I got spit all over the place
I'm glad that it's a rap song 'cause I can't sing
I could burp or go blah-waih or really anything
And it'll work as prance like a jerk and look dumb
And here comes the Cookie Monster going om-nom-nom!
(chorus)
I can't believe I paid for this
Songs this dumb shouldn't exist
It hurts my brain, do you understand
This is the dumbest song on Rock Band
(music break with sound effects)
(verse 2)
Tweedle deedle diddle doodle feeble battle poodle
Noodle fiddle in the middle of a hot toaster strudel
Pop Rocks and Alka Seltzer fill me full of joy
Ziggy socky ziggy socky, oy, oy, oy!
Now this is just getting bizarre
I think the next time I play this song I'm using the guitar
Then again the guitar doesn't have it any better
But at least the group is all in this together
Now all the music cut out and I'm standing by myself
Lookin' like an idiot in front of everybody else
They're just twiddling their thumbs 'cause they got nothing else to do
A dum, deedle dee, dum dee dum, doo dee doo dee doo
I'll keep going 'cause it beats playing darts
But how are we supposed to play harmonica parts?
I guess I'll just do the best I can and move on
And by the way, guy on bass, I ponied your mom
(chorus)
I can't believe I paid for this
Songs this dumb shouldn't exist
It hurts my brain, do you understand
This is the dumbest song on Rock Band
(chorus 2)
The dumbest song, dumbest song
And it's goin' on way too long
I can tell you this first hand
This is the dumbest song on Rock Band
(music break with scratching)
I like to put on dresses and pretend my name is Trina
Everyone! Look at me! I'm a pretty ballerina!
When in bed I do a war cry like an Indian Chief
Mussaw me ah erf ska pea lame ahm a leef (phonetically backwards: "Feel my manly pecs for I am awesome")
I didn't think this song could possibly get any dumber
But I didn't think my brain could possibly get any number
Oh shoot, I said number, as I stumble through my play
Now here's a bunch of words in Klingon that I have to try to say
nuch na' jI
H bej; verengan vIrur
Hab qu' vavwI' Quch; to
Q DujwIj vID'Ir rur
(translation: "I'm cowardly like a Ferengi. My father's forehead is smooth like a baffle.")
This song is without honor, I don't wanna have to try
Maybe today is a good day to die
I don't know any way that this could get any worse
I take that back, please don't let there be another verse
I don't think I could take it, no this really isn't funny
Ha! Ha! The joke's on you! I got your money!
(chorus)
I can't believe I paid for this
Songs this dumb shouldn't exist
It hurts my brain, do you understand
This is the dumbest song on Rock Band
(chorus ending)
Dumbest song, dumbest song
(devolve into random noises)
Hern dee durr, hurp dee durp
Hurn dee durr, de durr Swedish Chef
BORK BORK BORK
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