When I walked in
Saw your face
White teeth glint
Black t-shirt
Should have run
But I was a prize
Sixteen
Sixteen
Sixteen
I was 16 and had a boyfriend that was an idiot
Which was okay because I was also kind of an idiot
My friend and I snuck into an Army barracks late at night
She was dating an older guy who lived on the base
Suddenly I was a prize
In a building of a thousand men
Drenched in America and sweat
I'm not saying that the military raped me
I'm saying I was sixteen and I was on my period
(Black t-shirt)
There were three wolves in the bedroom who circled me
Without ever flashing their canines
Isn't rape funny like that
I have to speak in metaphor in order to get it out
In the morning
I told myself that I drank too much
And that I cheated
And that I was so sorry
And "boys will be boys"
Weaved a different story in my head
Painted it like glitter in a swamp
Forced a laugh when I said "rough sex"
I wonder how many girls have giggled while they were raped?
I bet a lot of them
(Black t-shirt
Should have run)
Sometimes when I'm washing the dishes
The hairs on my arms stand up
And somehow thought memory turns into physical memory
And I feel my body tense up at the kitchen sink
(Saw your face)
I don't know the science of that kind of thing
But I feel my eyes close, scared
And the movie plays and I softly say "no"
And I don't laugh uncomfortably this time
(Black t-shirt)
Then afterwards the fury comes like a wave of ashes
And I pretend I am the biggest, most powerful phoenix
And as my hands wrap around the coffee mug in the water
I pretend they teleport through time and space to that night
And circle around his neck
And I say no a whole fuck-ton louder than I did
I guess what I'm saying is
(Saw your face)
I don't apologize like that, anymore
(White teeth glint
Black t-shirt
Should have run
I was a prize)
When I walked in
Saw your face
White teeth glint
Black t-shirt
I should have fun
I'm not a prize
Mary Lambert is an American film director known for her work in independent cinema and her focus on representing social and political themes. Born in Seattle, Washington, Lambert studied directing at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA). Her first feature film, *Pet Sematary*, released in 1989, became a cult classic thanks to its unsettling take on Stephen King's story. Among her most notable works are also *Runaway Train* (1985) and *Sliver* (1993). Lambert has been an influential figure in American cinema, helping to define the horror genre of the 1980s and 1990s with her ability to create dense and unsettling atmospheres.
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