Suicidal like who am I, though
I fucking hate you that's my newest motto
I can choose the change but I choosed the bottle
If I'll fall asleep I'll see a new tomorrow
Yeah
Cause you don't feel the pain that I've been feeling inside
I'm fucking losing my mind
They're lookin' at me like I shotted the Sheriff
Cause I got too drunk and I'm not embarrassed
But I've been depressed and that's not apparent
Unless I say it out loud, so they all can hear it
Yeah
And I don't wanna seem like all I want is attention
You seem to think I'm pretendin'
Now all I see is these shots of glass
So I walk in the bar and I start a tab
I got a soft soul but the hardest past
Tell the waiter upfront they can call me a cab
I'm a hypocrite and insomniac
I'm a piece of shit but I honor that
I got mental problems and it's got me mad
But you seem to think that they are not that bad
As I think they are
What kind of Cole is that?
You don't know what it's like
You ain't thought to ask
But you ain't me and you never will be
The devil inside was sent to kill me
If you really care I expect the real thing
I feel they will never get the message
Will they?
It's all good, I won't give up my hopes
I am drunk as fuck but I think I'm sober
I been all alone lately
Feel like I might go crazy
I must the only one that feels this way
Lock up all the doors, baby
Disconnect the phone, baby
Block out all the noise and I might be okay
Just let me have my moment
I really need my moment
I gotta have my moment
I really need my moment
I need a moment of silence
I found a bottle back in grade seven
A young desperado, I had to make effort
My foot's on the gas, not the break pedal
I just put on ice, so it tastes better, yeah
I guess I'm just confused 'cause I see all the potential
But lately I'm going mental, I don't know what to do
Who would thought that I'd get this nervous
The life style that I leads not picture perfect
The hear what I say but they miss the purpose
Pour the shot in my glass 'til I hit the surface
That hotter inside I should leave the curtains
But today I just feel like a different person
I keep tellin' myself that it isn't urgent
If you dig what I'm sayin' you should feel my words then
It's obvious to me that I'm the root of the issue
Don't make me use it against you
Cause I will
Cause when it back fire, it just disappear
I'm way too anxious, I live in fear
I see it from a far and it's crystal clear
But know the objects closer than it appears
When I'm fucked up I feel okay
But the next morning there's no way
That I could feel good and it's so strange
Til I do it all again and it go away
I don't need friends, I got hose
And it's in red cup and it's O.J
It's what it's, it will take a while
So I shake these hands and I fake the smile
I been all alone lately
Feel like I might go crazy
I must the only one that feels this way
Lock up all the doors, baby
Disconnect the phone, baby
Block out all the noise and I might be okay
Just let me have my moment
I really need my moment
I gotta have my moment
I really need my moment
I need a moment of silence
Cole Stevenson, known by the stage name Merkules, is a Canadian rapper from Surrey, British Columbia. He is known for his "hangover-rap" style of music.
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