I have been waking up with blood in my mouth most days
Choking on the metallic taste that coats my tongue
Can't remember if I promised today would be the last, if so I lied
That infinitesimal moment of my true thoughts will fade
Overcome by my need for you
I am a lie. I am a sickness
I am decaying
I feel the life pouring from my veins
As I so feverishly try to shock life back into them
The way you so effortlessly did
Maybe I should just end this here
I wish that the promise of learning
From their example would die on my lips
So that my words bear weight again
My sanity won't let me count how many I've lost
Content only counting hours
Carefully planning, facing no aspect of life
As beautiful as this hole is, I need to climb out
The first time i contemplated death, I was 13
Took a knife from my kitchen counter
I did not know hot to perceive this
After eight, nine years of dealing with these thoughts
I couldn’t comprehend why i was feeling this way
For the longest time i contemplated death as the only escape
And the only way to make myself rid of the feelings i have felt
I’ve lost to many friends to feel that way anymore
To know that my life is not a continuation of theirs
So i sit at home, and i waste away
And i grow tired of the things i love
Old Gray was an American emo band from Hooksett and Auburn, New Hampshire.
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