Lynda Lemay

Lyrics Si j'étais optimiste Lynda Lemay

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Si j'étais optimiste


Si j'étais optimiste
Je f'rais confiance à mon mari
Si j'étais optimiste
J' mangerais du steak haché pas cuit
Si j'étais optimiste
J' pens'rais que Bush est merveilleux
Que Ben Laden vivra pas vieux
Que si tout l' monde fait attention
Y aura bientôt plus d' pollution

Si j'étais optimiste
J' trouv'rais qu' les jeunes sont les meilleurs
Si j'étais optimiste
J' dirais qu' l'avenir est prometteur
Si j'étais optimiste
J' croirais ni au vol ni aux armes
J' dormirais sans système d'alarme
J' ferais du charcoal sur mon perron
J' pourrais prendre à jeun mon avion

Mais je suis pessimiste
Parce que j'ai peur qu' mon avion tombe
Parce que j'suis sûre qu' mon mari m' trompe
J'ai peur de Bush, j'ai peur des bombes
Des tsunamis qui avalent le monde
J'ai peur des fuites de gaz propane
Peur de mourir d'un hamburger
J'ai peur, toute seule dans ma cabane
D'être défoncée par des voleurs
Peur de r'trouver nos jeunes obèses
Pendus au fil de leur Xbox
En train d' suffoquer dans leur graisse
En convulsions et en détox

Si j'étais optimiste
J' signerais ma carte de donneur
Si j'étais optimiste
Je m'offrirais des reins au cœur
Si j'étais optimiste
Je f'rais confiance à la médecine
Et à l'hygiène en général
J' croirais à l'eau plus qu'à l'urine
Dans la piscine municipale

Mais je suis pessimiste
J'ai peur de faire un accident
De m' réveiller les grands yeux ronds
Face à des sadiques aux gants blancs
En train d' me prélever mes poumons
Et puis j'ai peur des hôpitaux
Des bactéries d' ses poignées de porte
Peur d'attraper si j' prends l' métro
Le virus d' la vieille qui toussote
Pis si j'ai pas les seins refaits
C'est même pas pour les bonnes raisons
C'est que j' suis convaincue qu' j'aurais
Les plus rares complications

Si j'étais optimiste
Je f'rais confiance aux journalistes
Si j'étais optimiste
Je s'rais ravie qu' le Net existe

Mais je suis pessimiste
J' suis sûre qu'y a des nerds qui déconnent
Y vont sûrement m' causer du trouble
Y vont m' filmer par téléphone
Puis y vont m' foutre sur YouTube
J'ai peur qu' la critique soit pas bonne
Qu'elle dise que je tourne en rond
Que mon talent d'auteure plafonne
Qu' c'est loin d'être ma meilleure chanson

Oui, si j'étais une optimiste
J' croquerais peut-être une andouillette
Paraît qu'y en a p't-être une sur dix
Qui a pas l'odeur de fond d' toilette
J' vivrais heureuse et puis tranquille
Auprès d' mon détenteur de dard
Paraît qu'y en a p't-être un sur mille
Qui a pas d' souliers verts dans l' placard
Est-ce du pessimisme
Ou est-ce de la lucidité ?
Si j'étais optimiste
Y m' semble qu'on m'aurait enfermée !

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