Sexy music sets the mood-
Yo, listen up! We're talkin' bout Dark Souls
Hardest fuckin' game in the world. (Baby)
Yo, I just finished this game
Far from tame, it puts the rest to shame
It's the hardest motherfucker that I ever defamed
Dark Souls shake me up when I remember its name
Hey bro, I heard you also beat Dark Souls cold
Fuck no, (What?) I couldn't even clear the tutorial
That shit is like a thousand sharks bitin' my nuts
It's the spiky dick of Satan all up in my guts
Yeah listen, I also had a horrible time
Turned my penis to slime and pooped my pants at a random time
Ended up convulsing on the floor having seizure after seizure
'Til my body couldn't take more
I've died 8000 times (Yeah!)
I've lost my friggin' mind (Come on!)
This game's impossible to beat within the span of one man's life (Hell yeah!)
Coincidentally, brain-damaged mentally
Caved my fuckin' skull in with my cat accidentally
Is it dead?
Fuck yeah, never stood a chance even
Wanted Cuddles locked in battle with the fuckin' Capra Demon
Shit fuck yeah my tits exploded from that boss
So did mine
Chest is drippin' with somethin I'm callin' titty sauce
Beat my dad up 'cause I was mad as fuck
Lost your souls?
And now I lost my dad 'cause he's dead
But I was really mad so you can understand
Of course man! Had surgery for broken bones in my hand
From punching every single person that I met in the adrenal gland
Every try's the same
The hate flows through my veins
I've had enough, I'm giving up
Please jam this fork in my brain (Yo that hurts!)
My spirit's filled with dread
I envy the dead
I'd rather fight ten starving lions with meat stapled to my hand
Got so mad from playing Dark Souls
So I stole unmarked gold
Melted down to fucking lava that I drank so I could fart gold
Ended up having to eat charcoal
Giving me some very sharp pain in my butthole
Fucked a cow, 'cause I couldn't figure out how
It was possible to beat motherfuckin' Ornstein and Smough
That's nothing, built a time machine
Walked inside
Traveled back in time
Took a dump inside Caesar's Eye
Dark Souls fucked me up so much that I died
I resurrected back to life and then I started to cry
Then I realized that I really don't know why
We keep letting this game fuckin' antagonize
Then I ripped out my eyes
So as to compromise
I will never let Dark Souls traumatize
And control my life
Made me divorce my wife
Hey, the new DLC came out!
Oh, dude fuck nice!
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