In sweet dreams, I kid myself
Have your love for good
I really had hoped you'd stay
But like the river, you just come and go
And these things, they comfort me
When my mind's on you
And I feel you comfort me
But like the river, it just comes and goes
I used to think that you was Superman when I was younger (Yeah)
Findin' comfort in your voice when I was down and under
Put you on a pedestal and now I kinda wonder if that made sense
‘Cause I'm convinced you showed a lot of colors (Yeah)
All them nights I was alone, I hid inside th? covers
Used to argue with my moms wh?never I was stubborn (Facts)
I never warmed up to the idea of a step-dad because he wasn't you
And you and him ain't even like each other (Word)
Used to bring me ‘round your girlfriends as I recall
I thought one or two was cool, but I ain't like ‘em all
‘Cause all you ever did was argue ‘bout who's right or wrong
And you ain't have no job, so you would sit at home and light a bong (Yeah)
Used to crave for your attention, but I never got it
And everything you said we'd do is just another promise
You had dreams of bein' famous and I never doubted
But I started rhymin' to impress you, if we bein' honest (Facts)
But we can have some bondin' time and maybe pow-wow
A father/son relationship that we can smile ‘bout
At time's you got abusive and I had to bow down
Or keep on makin' music to try and compete with Bow Wow
Your father died when you was young, I think that made a scar
I started thinkin' maybe that's why you the way you are (Nah)
End of the day, no excuse for how you played your part
Told myself when I became a father, I'ma raise the bar (Word)
We had a lot of fallin' outs and didn't talk for years
And all them birthdays and holidays got awfully weird
You throw me in a foster home and I was brought to tears
Livin' with some strangers, feelin' anxious, I was lost and scared (Yeah)
And now I'm starin' at the river tryna get across
And all I see is apparitions of what never was
And everything I used to wish for is dead and lost
And if I never see your ass again, I'll be better off
I'll be better off (Yeah)
You are so negative (Uh)
And you say you know
But you know a goddamn thing
Like the river, you just run and go
You say you could do good
And better you know
But you tried no goddamn thing
Like the river, I'ma run from you
I told myself I wouldn't write a song, but fuck it, I did
Oftentimes, I sit and wonder if it's somethin' I did
Or maybe I was immature, but is it somethin' I said'
I can't help but feel the feelin' that there's somethin' I missed
I told you somethin' happened to me and you ain't protect me (Yeah)
You tried to say you ain't believe me as you disrespect me (Facts)
And plus, you never had my back, in fact, you may resent me in a way
‘Cause everythin' I say, you try to use against me (Word)
And I never knew your other kids, but I knew of ‘em (True)
I'm not really sure if I like ‘em, but I do love ‘em (Do)
Shit, I don't even think you knew but just a few of ‘em
‘Cause all your baby mothers stayed away to keep you from ‘em (Word)
You probably out fillin' they heads with shit that's not the truth
You probably told ‘em that I switched up when I got some loot (Uh)
You probably told ‘em that I'm greedy and I'm not so cool
That I worship the devil and I sold my soul to cop a pool (Yeah)
I worked my ass off to get rich, let's not confuse
I sacrificed my whole twenties just so I can move (True)
While everybody else was chillin', hangin' out with crews
I was writin' a plan to finally win while tryin' not to lose (True)
I still remember signin' my deal and you got hella funny
And at that time, you probably figured I had hella money (Yeah)
But I only got a small advance, so I ain't even get a chance to hold you down
‘Cause then you started gettin' jealous of me
But I'm worth a couple million now, I turned out fine (Yeah)
I copped my moms a big crib and went and got mine
An indoor pool with a house made and I'm not lyin' (Nope)
A happy son who loves his dad, it's about time (Yeah)
But I'm still starin' at the river tryna get across
And all I see is apparitions of what never was
And everything I used to wish for is dead and lost
And if I never see your ass again, then I'll be better off
I think I'll be better off
Karma comes back and it's co-co-comin' (Co-co-comin')
Treatin' me bad and I'm ru-ru-runnin' (Ru-ru-runnin')
Karma comes back and it's co-co-comin' (Co-co-comin')
Treatin' me bad, I'm ru-ru-runnin' (Ru-ru-runnin')
And congratulations, nigga, you won
And all the love you never gave me, I can give to my son
Eternal love to my child, we'll forever be one
Thanks to you, I know the man that I would never become
Never become
Gary Maurice Lucas Jr., known as Joyner Lucas, is an American rapper, singer, and actor born in Worcester, Massachusetts, in 1986. Active since 2015, he has gained popularity for his intricate rhymes, introspective lyrics, and aggressive flow. His musical style blends elements of traditional hip hop with influences from R and B and trap. Among his most notable tracks are "I'm Not Racist", "All I Need Is You", and "Devil's Work". In 2017, he released his debut album, "ADHD", which received positive reviews from critics. Lucas is also known for his collaborations with artists such as Chris Brown, Eminem, and Logic. His music often tackles social and personal themes, exploring issues of race, violence, and mental health.
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