Ton enfance n'a pas toujours été rose :
Quand t'es né, ton père sortait d'une cirrhose
Et quand, bébé, tu pleurais dans ton parc,
I't'mettait une claque !
Petit Pierrot,
Tu n'es pas beau ;
Pauvre petit,
Ta joue rougit...
Puis à l'école, ce fut pas l'pied non plus,
Car dans la cour, c'était un peu tendu :
Quand tu disais : " C'est moi, Goldorak ! ",
Tu t'mangeais une claque !
Au refrain
Alors t'allais voir le méd'cin scolaire,
Luc Ballouchard, un type patibulaire,
Tu lui disais : " J'me sens un peu patraque ",
Une claque !
Au refrain
Ton père avait de l'ambition pour toi,
Il disait : " J'veux qu'tu fais flic, comme papa ! "
Tu répondis : " Papa, moi, j'veux mon bac ! "
Bon, celle-là, tu l'as cherchée aussi...
Au refrain
Puis tu l'as eu, mention très bien, respect !
Ta mère te voyait déjà en math spé
Tu lui dit : " Maman, moi, j'veux faire musico à la fac ! "
Un coup d'nunchak !
Au refrain
Quand vigipirate s'est mis à tomber,
Comme t'étais laid, les flics t'ont embarqué
Pour déconner, t'as proposé du crack,
Pareil...
Au refrain
Un jour, tu as eu trente ans et demi,
Tu t'es dit : " Faudrait qu'j'ai une relation avec une fille ! "
A une soirée, t'as vu Amélie Mauresmo, tu lui as fait un smack,
Tu t'es mangé une putain de claque...
Au refrain
Mais comme au bout de certaines histoires
Ou le héros de quelque chanson noire
De nos confrères les Ogres de Barback
Il claque !
Au refrain Olivier DELAFOSSE & Olivier DUBOC
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