Ian Dury

Ian Dury


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D'orine the cow

*Moo!* I'm D'Orine the Cow, Tom the Bull's better half
My daughter's called Daisy, she's a very nice calf
When I'm all finished milking and chewing the cud
Mr. Meatface the butcher will be after my blood Cos I'm D'Orine CowI'm D'Orine the CowI'm somebody's quarter-pound hamburger bun
And somebody's trousers now *Baa!* I'm Lofty the Lamb from the heart of the shire
My texture's too coarse for your fashion attire
So soon I'll be bound for the abattoir's slab
Slaughtered and frozen for doner kebab Cos I'm Lofty the LambI'm Lofty the LambI seem to have gambolled my short life awayI'm a sandwich instead of a ram *Cluck-cluck! Cluck-cluck!* I'm Mary the Chicken, the result of research
In the dark with no feathers and wedged on this perch
Pieces go missing when chickens collide
Oh bury my bones with your Kentucky Fried Cos I'm Mary the ChickenI'm Mary the ChickenYou wouldn't eat me if you knew where I'd beenYou'd be heart-stricken *Grunt!* I'm Jonathon Pig and I'm fearsomely stout
From the tip of my tail to the snuff of my snoutI'm too fat to move and I'm too young to die
So think about me next time you eat a pork-pie Cos I'm Jonathon PigI'm Jonathon PigMy ears have gone into the sausage machine
And so has my thingumajig
My thingumajig

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